yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
