u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize