Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
