This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
