No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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