so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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