Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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