Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
