i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize