She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
