we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
