the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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