Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize