i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
