great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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