My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
