Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.

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(330): View more from Ohio

did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."

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(270): View more from Kentucky

You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."

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(631): View more from New York

But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila

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(813): View more from Florida

She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.

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