No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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