Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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