Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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