On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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