found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
