if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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