The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize