My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
