Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize