as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
