Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We're too hungover to prance.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
