I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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