Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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