Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
