I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
