So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
