Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize