Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
