wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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