Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
