"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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