I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
