i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
