Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
