He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
