Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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