just come out here and I will go home with you...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize