i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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