I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
