Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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