Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
