based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize