I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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