Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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