you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
