His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
