well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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