so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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