I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize