3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
