I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
