Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
