New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
God, I missed his penis.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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